Its' OK,, will be always has been!

As I look at this journey,, I see that I am way stronger than I ever dreamed! I can do what I need to do, I can make it, I have made it! I will make it!

I am and have within me a force to be seen and heard.. I have a voice, I have a dream! I can do all things! I will be able to do all I need to do. there is more to the human spirit than we ever know , but we find out when tested,,

I will rest in the truth that I will be ok and have been ok... Truth,, is what will set me free! I love walking in this truth,, the truth that says You will be FREE , FREE indeed! ,, I will no longer live alone in a world of humans,, I live in His sheltered arms,, under his wings! I rest and trust! LOVING it!

PAIN brings life!

Pain drives foolishness away and brings life.. He had to go through pain to bring us life.
Proverbs 22:15 foolishness is bound in the heart of a child , but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not die.
Psalms 116:14-16 I will pay my vows unto the Lord Now in the presence of all his people. Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. O lord truly i am thy servant; i am thy servant, and the son of thine handmaid thou has loosed my bands!
Pain and commitment provides FREEDOM! out of bondage and slavery!
Psalms 48:14 For God is our God forever and ever He will be our guide even unto death.
1 Corinthians 15:54-56 So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption , and this mortal shall have put on immortality , then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written Death has been swallowed up in Victory!
we wait! for pain to be abolished!
o death where is they sting,o grave where is thy victory?
The sting of death is SIN. and the strength of Sin is the LAW.
FREEDOM removes the sting, Grace helps it not to hurt as much.
Philippians 1:19-21
According to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with al boldness, as always so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body whether it be by life, or by death. for me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
PAIN is going to be gone!
Revelation 21:4
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be anymore pain. For the former things are passed away.

MY son is not dead,, he did not die! He is alive,, death was only a place he had to pass through to get to where he was going!

waiting for the knowing all is well..

It is in the waiting moments, that we wonder if we have the patience to be still for the answer,, but the alternitive is not a solution,, it creates chaos,, so i must be still in the waiting,, the new day will dawn the morning will come,,

FRESH and new, and ALIVE..

He is making the path and all I have to do is walk it slower one step at a time not skipping steps and falling on my back side,,,

why does it hurt so much?

How do I stop the pain? how do I stop the madness,, it seems like I can feel so FREE, loved, and safe and then bottom out to nothing,, the nothing that is so scary. I must praise,, but I do no know what to say.. Psalm 103 Bless the Lord Oh My soul; and all that is within me, bless his HOLY name. I can praise HIM<>

I just do not care

I just do not care,, I do not know why, I will sit with it awhile until I find out that I do care. But for now I do not care. I cannot believe this is truth so I must find out what is,,, until then,, I will be at peace with the emptiness. I have to embrace it for now.

Mixed Up world

What are they thinking ??,, turning someone out on the street, who cannot take care of themselves. My heart crys out,, you must do something ! you must take care of this! you must help , and yet there is nothing I can do, no way I can help, without destroying myself.

And that would be wrong. I know I have to stay safe and in a protected place. I know I cannot help this situation. I cannot understand how the world can be so cruel as to offer people a way to destroy themselves and then pretend to offer help and that help is only about money.. I know it is reality.. but it BITES!

I do love the man who is my Father, but I cannot expose myself to his exploitation even though at this time it seems he does not know he is doing it, it is a habit. I am sad inside and my heart is hurting but I cannot help,, and I know this.. but the temptation to try screams at me like a child screams in the dark having a horrible nightmare! I cry to my real PAPA,, Please help me to stay strong and keep on this pathway of healing you have placed me on.

I will not fear,, I will not fear the darkness.

Journey to healing forgiveness

Heavenly Father, I come to You now in the Name of my Lord and Savior Christ Jesus.
Father, help me to let go of all bitterness and resentment. You are the One Who binds up and heals the broken-hearted. I receive Your blessing and anointing of healing that breaks and destroys every yoke of bondage. I receive spiritual healing by faith according to Your Word, Isaiah 53:5, "and with His stripes we are healed". Thank You for sending me Your Holy Spirit, I acknowledge the Holy Spirit as my wonderful Counselor! Thank You for helping me work out my salvation with fear and trembling, for it is You, Father, Who works in me to will and to act according to Your good purpose.
In the Name of Jesus, I choose to forgive those who have wronged me . I choose to live a life of forgiveness because You have forgiven me . I repent of all resentments, bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice. I desire to be kind and compassionate to others, forgiving them, just as in Christ You forgave me . With the help of the Holy Spirit, I make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy, for I know that without holiness no one will see You. I will watch and pray that I will not enter into temptation or cause others to stumble. Thank You, Heavenly Father, that You watch over Your Word to perform it and that whom the Son has set free is free indeed. I declare that I have overcome resentment and bitterness by the Blood of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Word of my testimony. Amen!